Jesse Turns Three

It is hard to believe that it has been three years since this wonderful being drifted into my life.  I am so grateful that God chose me to be his Mommy.  We had a Birthday lunch where our friends Keri Pelton with her niece Kim and the Nascimento family including Gus's mother and niece from Brazil.  My husband made his world famous Lasagna, a huge salad and garlic bread and I, of course, made the cake.  The cake gave me a difficult time.  Both layers falling, but I managed to salvage them and they were delicious.

Happy Birthday Jesse! I love you more than you will ever know.

If Someone Doesn't Contact You.....

....They don't want to contact you....

This leads me to my topic....as seen in the movie He's Just Not that Into You.  I found it in a 5 dollar bin a few months ago and decided to buy it.  Having seen it a few years back on one of my ladies movie nights, I remembered it being rather cute.  I popped it in the other day and I remembered what I didn't like about it.  But I also saw what I did.  Looking beyond the casual sex, adultery and domestic partnerships lies a rather cute story line of longing to be accepted and loved and the reading and/or misreading of behavior between men and women.
It follows intertwining relationships between friends and lovers.  Gigi is an adorable young women seeking to find a relationship beyond the dating world and finds and unexpected friendship from a womanizing night club manager, Alex. With his help she begins to understand the codes men use (as he has used them too) in the pursuit of casual relationships.

"We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you".-Gigi

I remember the days of dating and waiting hoping that he will call and I would find true romance.  Lucky for me, I found my prince charming at a young age.  I am grateful it is not me waiting by the phone and feeling rejected. The ugly truth is the same today as it was 2 decades ago...unfortunately there are far more ways to feel the sting of rejection...but it all boils down to "If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a $hit...he genuinely doesn't give a $hit. No exception". (movie quote- Alex to Gigi).

If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
-Alex

I may not have to worry with  this type of thing in my love life, but I have found the same situations just as powerful in my personal life. Having left my home state, my church, longtime friendships, my siblings and burying both of my parents I have found myself craving deep relationships. For whatever reason the relationship I thought I would have with Doug's sisters and brother did not pan out....I have, however, been blessed with three of the best friends a woman could have and I have a couple of intimate friendships and several meaningful relationships within my church body.  I am an extremely outgoing woman.  Being from the South I engulfed the philosophy "I don't meet strangers". I have been blessed with friends of all ages and diversity.  I have also had the occasional rejection of my offer of friendship.  Although I do feel the sting, I want to continue to be outgoing toward potential friendships as well as nurture the ones existing. I have to learn that not everyone that touches my life will be seeking a friendship. I have to understand that the phone call unreturned and unanswered e-mail are just part of life.  Why I have this unquenchable need to be liked by everyone I meet? That is a question I may never find the answer too, but I refuse to close my heart to the potential of friendship....I just have to remember that if someone wants to pursue a friendship with me they will....

CHRISTmas

From the motion picture The Nativity

After last Christmas looking at the mound of wrapping paper, empty boxes and abandoned tree I felt sick.  I told my husband, Doug, that nothing we did had anything to do with Christ. I planned to do better through out the year and to turn the celebration back to where it belonged.  I was not raised with "Jesus" as the reason for the season, even though mother did try to sprinkle in some of the Christian side of Christmas. She was raised in a Southern Baptist home.  She had knowledge of Christ, but during our childhood she was not a Christian. Christmas was the one day she was allowed to really give to us kids. So I grew up in a Santa home...which was fun and I loved her for making Christmas special.  She was an awesome mom.

For the past 18 Christmases, even though I have given my life to Christ, have been very commercial in my celebration.  Spending as much money was available to spoil the kids and had very little if anything to do with the greatest gift ever given to mankind, our Savior.  This year, I was determined to make a difference without sacrificing our children's blessing.  I didn't plan to put up a tree (what does a tree have to do with Jesus birth?) but my youngest boy, Jesse, asked daily about when would we get a tree.  I figure no harm in decorations. This year me and the younger boys made most of the decorations and I left the Star Wars ornaments in storage. Yes, there are gifts. Far less was spent this year.  I think four to unwrap from Mom and Dad, one from the brothers, and one that Santa will deliver.  Money restrictions lessened what was given to my sister and her family and my brother.  A gift for my parents in law, baked treats for some of Doug's family and my friends. 

Christmas 2011 gifts for Doug and the Boys as well as the ones sent from Georgia

I did notice even with my desire to make Christ the center of our celebrations I have somewhat failed.  I have done better that the previous years, but my Savior is still not the center of the celebration.   I am working against the tide of the world and the media to try to focus on Christ. Daily I talk to Jesse about Jesus.  He is not quite three, so I am trying to tell him without confusion...who he is and what Christmas is about, keeping it simple.
Sunday morning after receiving their gift, we will have a Happy Birthday Breakfast for Jesus and focus our time on Him and a family.  I am sure we will have plenty of laughs as we always do when we share a meal. We plan to go to services and then over to see Doug's parents and back home to unwrap gifts and have a nice supper.
My friend Keri and I went shopping together on Monday and she treated me to lunch.  We had such a fun time. She came by yesterday and brought some gifts for us.  I made her and her mom some banana bread and muffins and when I see her today I hope to have her Christmas cookies ready.
Tonight I am going out with some other friends.  It was last minute, but since Doug is off tonight, Paula, Irene and I plan to meet at the Mall and have supper at TGI Friday's. I am bringing red velvet cupcakes for dessert. Afterwards just hang out and enjoy some girl time.
As my commitment to the Lord grows I am hoping more traditional celebrations will follow the months ahead.  Easter will be upon us sooner than expected and in a blink I will be writing about Christmas again.

Merry Christmas!

Don't Be Fooled...

Life is hard and people are complicated.  The older I get the less surprised I am when I see someone's life drastically changed.  I have to wonder why people are truly unhappy in their lives and relationships? I think a large part of it is lack of communication.  Taking what we don't hear and adding what we think to the scenario.  I personally went through this after Jesse was born.  I slipped into the grips of postpartum depression and Doug was rather shell shocked at being a father again.  We stopped talking for the most part just surviving the first year of Jesse's life.  I started assuming he didn't love me anymore and was on the verge of leaving us.  That pushed me further into despair and silence, assuming the worst of my husband.  Satan loves an open playground of a confused mind and I easily could have lost everything,  There was a point where I felt like I lost myself.  I can gratefully say that is in the past.  Once I opened my heart to my husband things began to change for the better.  I know I put him through a lot, but being the man he is he just loved me through it.
You never know what people are going through.  On appearance a couple can appear to be in the strongest of marriages.  Their  home life can appear to be one to envy.  I have learned the average Joe or Jane can live a perfectly normal life on the outside and be in complete turmoil on the inside.  What can we do to help? Stop assuming everyone is a okay.   Ask the Lord for guidance and to place on our hearts people who need his help.  You don't need to know their business or intrude in anyway, Our Father knows their need, so when you feel the burden of your fellow human being, don't dismiss it...just take the time to pray for them, pray until the burden is lifted.  Next time you see them, give them a hug or a hand shake and tell them you are on my heart and I have been praying for you. Reach out to our fellow man even if they are in a place they cannot reach back.  I know what it feels like to feel alone in a personal crisis.  I know how much it means when someone extends themselves.  I don't know where I would be now without the prayers of others. I have an amazing group of supporters and I will strive to make a difference in the lives of others.

AJ is Home

My house is full of laughter....We miss him so much....

Sheron's Believe It or Not

I caught my thumb in my car door a few weeks back and of course it turned nasty purple and sore.  I am clumsy by nature, losing my balance, tripping over unseen objects, bumping elbows and over or under reaching and hitting my hands. Bumped the thumb one too many times and caused the nail to break near the cuticle.
I found this to be funny, yesterday I noticed that a small white heart formed under my purple thumb nail....Not sure why I found it so amusing, I am sure I am not the first, but I have never seen it happen before...

Meat Art...

I guess It Never Hurts to Hurt Sometimes...

An old one by the Oakridge Boys

Not sure why it came to mind

What is forever anyway?

I guess It Never Hurts to Hurt Sometimes

Sometimes I feel a wave
Of a past break in my mind
And I know it's gone for good
And it makes me want to cry
Is this all we get to keep
As the years go rollin' by
Just a memory
For all the days gone by.

Oh you're always in my heart
And you're often on my mind
I will never let it die
Just as long as I'm alive
Sometimes it makes me sad
That we never said goodbye
Oh I guess it never hurts
To hurt sometimes.

You try and hold on to the moment
But time won't let you stay
But for every step you take
You lose something on the way
You can't look forward to tomorrow
And still hold on to yesterday
Oh I hope that you can hear me
When I'm saying

Oh you're always in my heart
And you're often on my mind
I will never let it die
Just as long as I'm alive
Sometimes it makes me sad
That we never said goodbye
Oh I guess it never hurts
To hurt sometimes.

Another Christmas in New York

Christmas 2011

Me and Mart.  We have always been friends, but we are growing a lot closer these last few months.

Time is flying by.  It doesn't seem like it has been 12 months since last Christmas.  I feel like I closed my eyes for just a moment and 6 months raced by.  This is my tenth Christmas in NY and chances are we will have a green Christmas this year.  We have received little snow in November and now December. Not that  I am complaining. Winter is hard work for me.

Pri is my sweetheart...it will break my heart if she and her family leaves this area.  Being in ministry one never knows how long they will stay. 

I have finally settled into my life here.  I have a husband that I love and for whatever reason adores me. Our boys. I have a church family where  I am close to several of the members and friends beyond the walls of my church.

Christmas 2011

As we are heading into this Holy season we have chosen to do less  and focus more on the Reason for the Season.  That was decided last year when we looked at the paper carnage from the feast of  gifts and realized Jesus had no place in our festivities.  We have a tree and there will be gifts, just a limit on them.  We omitted my Star Wars decor and chose to make our own decorations.  It was weird setting up and decorating the tree without AJ.  Wyatt took over this year as my helper...We had a fun time....but I do miss my eldest....
Times may be lean for us with the cost of living sky rocketing and doing what we can to support AJ in school, but times are also good.  We have everything we need.  I love my life and the people who surround me near and far. I am a blessed woman.

My precious boys building a Gingerbread house. Wyatt nearing 14 and Jesse just weeks away from 3.

I hope you are having a joyously blessed Christmas Season

spice "gingerbread house" cake with spiced cream cheese buttercream frosting.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Cake Blog...

Not meaning for it to....I guess doing cakes has become part of who I am.  I want to make a spice cake for my sweetheart.  I plan to use a house shaped cookie pan to make thin layers, frost with a cream cheese buttercream (probably spiced buttercream) and decorate it like a gingerbread house. We still have more than half of the last cake I baked, Isaiah 9:6 cake.  I have gained 2 more pounds so easing off the buttercream is a must.
I started my morning with my beautiful son, Wyatt, driving him to school which he loves for one of us to do on Monday mornings. Snuggled with Jesse and decorated our fireplace.  Now I am taking a moment to plan my day.  My life may not be perfect, but I have a good life, surrounded by people I love and who loves me equally.

Christmas Cake

Isaiah 9:6 cake

Isaiah 9:6

 ⁶ For a child is born to us,
      a son is given to us.
   The government will rest on his shoulders.
      And he will be called:
   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
      Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

 New Living Translation (NLT)

Monkey Cake

For the first time in my life I cooked, frosted and piped a monkey

Fudge marble cake with pure white buttercream, chocolate body and light chocolate face, ears, hands and feet.  Green vine accented boarder

Cakes Galore!

Fiesta Cake
Three layer chocolate cake with raspberry filling, buttercream frosting and fondant embellishments 

Fiesta Cup Cakes

I hope things keep going for me and my cake making.  I had two cake orders last weekend.  One for a Fiesta Cake and matching cupcakes and the other for a party horn cake.  Today I received a request for a monkey cake for a woman at my husbands work.  With every cake I learn something new.  Taking classes was a good fit for me.  I desire to learn more techniques such as carving and creating sculptured people and animals as well as perfecting existing skills.

Party Horn Birthday Cake

Almost Me

Feeling a bit nostalgic these days...Where has it all gone?

Debbie just hit the wall
She never had it all
One Prozac a day
Husband's a CPA
Her dreams went out the door
When she turned 24.
Only been with one man
What happened to her plan?

She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star
She was gonna shake her ass
On the hood of White Snake's car
Her yellow SUV is now the enemy
Looks at her average life
And nothing, has been...
all right since

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

She’s seen all the classics
She knows every line
"Breakfast Club", "Pretty In Pink"
Even "St. Elmo's Fire"
She rocked out to Wham!
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she'd get a hand
On a member of Duran Duran

Where's the mini-skirt made of snakeskin?
And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become T.V.?
What ever happened to sitcoms, game shows,
on the radio was....

Springsteen, Madonna
way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

She hates time, make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop, stop, STOP and bring back

Springsteen, Madonna
way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she's uncool
Cuz she's still preoccupied
With 1985

Charmed Life

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Starting Wednesday with Wyatt home from school.  Later that afternoon Doug brought AJ and his friend Chris home from Elim.  Thanksgiving day held a perfect turkey and more trimmings than I can name.  Doug's parents, brother and niece were here and brought their specialty dishes.

We shared more than food.  There was a wonderful family fellowship and Chris fit right in with our crazy family.  I had my son with me until Sunday night.  Doug drove him, Chris and Emily back  to Elim.  I am my happiest when my family is together.  Our home is homier with AJ home.  Even though it feels part of me is missing, I am as happy for our son as I am proud.  I wouldn't change this experience even if I could.
Monday morning came around and Wyatt is  back at school and Jesse and I are hanging out together.  We made paper snow flakes and got into a fight over me not wanting him to use scissors (we don't have any safety scissors).
As I gave thanks to God this weekend for my family, I had to ask why he didn't grant me a daughter?  Most of the time I don't think about it, bit in my heart I want a girl.  As much as I love my sons and wouldn't change having a single one, a part of me feels empty.  I didn't get an answer...but I was filled with utter joy when I looked at my beautiful 35 month old son sleeping in bed next to me.  He is my gift.  He will be with me long after Wyatt leaves for college.  By the time Jesse is ready to leave my nest, hopefully I will have grandchildren to enjoy.  No matter how I feel about my blessings, I know God is good and he gave me the children I was suppose to have.  I am choosing to stop longing for what I don't have and enjoy the wonders I do have....I am a very fortunate person and I have a very blessed life.

Thanksgiving

This November holds a special occasion for me.  It marks 5 years since my last radiation treatment and that concluded my cancer treatments.  I was at Cancer Treatment Centers of America the week before Thanksgiving The radiation I chose was invasive and took  five days of treatment 2 times a day. I did very well and and the Radiologist gave the okay for me to fly home early.  I was with my guys Thanksgiving day.  It  is common knowledge that getting to the five year mark is essential to beating cancer.  I was afflicted with a large tumor that didn't fit the "norms" of breast cancer.  After surgery, chemotherapy and internal radiation, I am alive and pretty healthy.  Blessed by the love of my family and friends.

Fun day

Jesse with author Rebecca King and her dog Shadow

Jesse and I went to Oriskany Falls Public Library yesterday for story hour.  There was a special guest. A local author Rebecca E.B. King.  She came and read her book Unji Finds a Friend. I bought a copy for Jesse and Zion.  She took the time to inscribe a personal message to each child. 
I decided to make a snack to share.  I made frosted sugar cookies with fall decor made from fondant.  The kids loved it and it lead to my first cake order.  Erica, the library manager, wants a Fiesta themed cake for her father's birthday.  That was a very nice surprise.  I am hoping through word of mouth I will continue to receive business. 

Jesse and myself are all about Autumn.  That is why we chose Fall themed cookies.

Oh Happiness!

Today I am happy.  No reason for it, I just feel satisfied in my life.  Yesterday Wyatt and I had a date.  We went to see the new Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill.  It was rated PG and it had nothing in it that would embarrass me watching it with my 13 year old son.  After the movie we went to Wal-mart for groceries and bought Deathly Hallows Part 2.  This concludes the Harry Potter saga and although they messed a few important events up, it was very well done.  Most of the time being a book reader really messes the movies up for me.  I read the last Twilight book and can already see major discrepancies just from the preview.  I still plan to go see it hoping there is not too much artistic license taken.
I had a dentist appointment this morning and an eye appointment this afternoon.  I am hoping this is the last contact change.  He moved me to a Bausch and Lomb toric.  It seems to fit better and therefore I can see better.  Another appointment on Monday to check it and see if we have finally found a match for me....
Doug, Wyatt, Jesse and I had a yummy baked chicken supper with whole corn, winter squash and rice.  Doug has left for work and the boys and I are settling in for the evening.  Stinky Jesse needs a bath tonight.  I have been a bad mom and have not given him one this weekend.  What a blessing my lovely sons are.

Dancing (living a life of optimism) is a choice or so one would believe.  I do well making the choice for a few weeks at a time and then whatever it is inside of me takes over and simply making it through a day is exhausting.  I am fighting for my life this week.  The depression and loneliness is raging.  I have a good life, I have a husband who loves me and sons who adore me.  I believe in Jesus and that he loves me.  Roof over my head, food in the cabinets, for the most past we are healthy.  What do I have to be sad about? Nothing I suppose, so feeling this way brings on a bit of guilt and confusion.  I have to wonder if I am really messes up or if everyone secretly feels this way.  Is this a normal human feeling and I am one of the few that wears my heart on my sleeve and allows my weaknesses to show?  Not that I want others to feel this way, but it would be nice to know if they do, that I am not alone. 

Happy Veterans Day

Who Would Have Known?

Here I am a proud mother of an absolutely beautiful, smart and very head strong child.  Jesse will turn three December 31.  I feel he is a little a head of other kids his age.  Because his birthday is at the end of the year he will be year behind starting kindergarten at nearly 6 instead of five. Since he is ready and our local school is not Jesse and I have started our preschool at home.  I am blessed beyond measure to be able to spend everyday with amazing child. Who would have guessed I would be back here?

Fits and Giggles- Sticks and Stones
A Journey Through Preschool

Wasted

I don't know why forgetting who I am is so easy.  I think in the last few days I have recounted every sin and mistake I have made since my first breath. Forgetting that they have been forgiven and forgotten by God.  I have wasted  more long weeks of my precious life flogging myself for failure, mistakes and bad judgement.  Of course it only brought pain, depression and separation from God. Finally I break through came and  my mind and spirit are once again at peace.  I totally get why they Bible instructs us not to worry (Luke 12:22-26 and Philippians 4:6-7).  My constant worry did nothing to fix any of the problems, it only caused more.  It made me doubt God, deepened my anxiety, allowed illness to linger, took days of joyful living away from me and robbed my children of the fun and affectionate mother they normally have in their lives. The only thing I know to do is to strive to stay in the presence of God where the truth is. In his presence I can stay alert and head off the enemy's attempt distract and accuse. I know I must be pretty weak minded to fall into the same trap repeatedly. For now I must stay close to the side of my PaPa and allow him to apply healing balm on me and take time to heal and strengthen in him

To Much for Me

Surrendering in the Spirit is not giving up. It is realizing that I am not God, I am not the creator, I am the creature.  I am a creature living is a chaotic world trying my best to hang on. With all of my might fighting against circumstances that I have no control over.  I guess it is human nature to strive to survive in the spirit as much as the physical.  I know that it is me that is causing my suffering.  If I could just let go and put my trust in God I know things will turn out for the best or at least what is best for me even if I don't agree with the outcome.
I am reading a book called Spiritual Surrender.  Thanks to the beautiful ladies at Resurrection Life Fellowship who has used their talents to organize a church library. It has me thinking about my current circumstances and how much I really don't trust or rely on God.  I know I am writing some serious things, but God knows my thoughts, it doesn't matter whether I admit my doubts or continue to deny them.  Surrendering myself to a loving God takes trust.  Takes free falling into His arms knowing that He will not let me fall.  After reading a chapter and reflecting on my life and my personal walk I realized, my circumstances are equivalent to a bull ride.  I can hang on with all my might, through the turmoil, pain and even risk injury to myself and people around me or I  can let go. Choose to watch the show from the sidelines. Sit in Pa Pa's lap knowing he has my best interest in mind. Letting go is one of the hardest things for me to do.  As I watch these circumstances that I have absolutely no say in unfolds, surrendering to and trusting God is the answer to my survival. The raging bull in my situation may be untameable by me, it may be scary to watch play out, but I MUST find a way to trust in my Father and not continue to jump into the arena and try to fix it myself.  I know the answer seems simple. Trusting God equals peace. Why is it so hard for me to put into practice.

Keep Trying...

A nights rest helped me to feel better today.  I hate it when I doubt God. A Christian for almost 19 years and I am still struggling.  I had a dream last week that a church member asked me if I was really saved.  Sometimes I have to wonder that myself.  But I know the truth is I am...even though I don't embrace the love he has for me or hold the passion for Him that others do.  I am still learning, believing and working towards understanding the Father- daughter dynamic. How my son has so much faith being raised by me is a wonder.  We text last night and his second semester at Elim seems impossible, but he is a man of faith and he believes God is going to come through for him.  I am trying to believe that however it works out, it is all in God's plan and God is good.  Maybe He is using this to build my faith?  Maybe it is just life?  Whatever it is I just want what is best for my son's life.

Yesterday is gone, yesterdays doubts and failures are over.  God's grace is beautiful, he renews my strength and give me a do over every day.  Chin up Sheron, make today matter. 

Yes, No, I Don't Know. Can You Repeat the Question?

Amanda Roberts, Kelsey Gallagher, Destiny Joy Kreider, A.j. Smith and Edward Abrams

I guess failure is an option.  I was trained growing up to be a pessimist, although I don't believe it was intentional.  As I grow older I am still a pessimist, but I have a enthusiastic hope that everything will work out for the best.
My Christian beliefs tell me that I should count everything good and trust God has it all under control.  But my brain keeps looking at things from the less attractive side that tells me I have wasted my life. Wiping babies bottoms and taking pride in my home and children and being the wife of a man I love instead of pursuing a career.  Right now I feel like a major failure.  I have pretty much quit everything I have tried.  High school was horrible so I quit, phlebotomy turned out to be a health hazard so I quit, Customer service was too stressful so I quit. My weekend job was to hard on my husband and older sons, so again I quit. I have little higher education and even though most places would pay me more than minimum wage, I cannot leave my youngest child to go to work.  Doug working a 60 hour week prevents an evening or a morning job without paying childcare.  I am 45 years old, even if I manage to take some online classes I will not be starting a career until I am close to fifty.  AJ has not found a job and Doug and I don't have two nickels to rub together.  I have no idea how he is going to go back to college second semester.  It breaks my heart to have to tell him I cannot help and he may have to give up this pursuit. If I just would have had more gumption in my life I might would have a successful career now, helping my kids and not watching my husband go daily to a job her really doesn't like. I guess one solution would be is to look into some loans.  Elim not being accredited I don't know if he will be eligible for a traditional loan. I love being a housewife and mother, but I don't love watching my husband spend every penny he makes to support us and not have a penny to bring to the table. 

First Day of November

He fell asleep less than a mile from home

Another month has flown by.  It was hard to believe that it was Fall already, now Halloween has past and we are entering the Holiday season.  Jesse had a ball Trick or Treating.  He is almost three so he really knew what it was about and quickly caught on to the door to door begging.  He had "trick or treat" and "thank you" to an art.  Everyone thought my little Robin (Boy Wonder) was adorable and well as polite.
Wyatt stayed home. He had a bad sore throat and fever.  If I knew in advance Jesse was going to get sick I would have kept him home.  We were up twice in the middle of the night taking breathing treatments.  It was a blessing to have the nebulizer, if it were not for that we would have been in the ER.  He is doing better today, playing with his older brother and making his usual demands on me.  Wyatt is feeling well enough to aggravate him and making my afternoon less than pleasant.
Jesse and I are entering a new phase in his life...he has not quite outgrown the need for a nap, but if he takes one I have a difficulty getting him to sleep at night.  I take it day by day and if he is too miserable he gets a nap. 
Ready or not here comes winter....I hope I handle it better than in the last few years.  Battling depression can be enough of a challenge without months of cold and snow.

Wyatt's Party Cakes

The Nightmare before Christmas (Halloween and Thanksgiving too!)

Way to soon
sheron

Appearnces

Brazilian Chocolate cake with cherry filling and dark chocolate glaze. Handmade Gum Paste flowers and leaves.

To look at this cake no one would even guess the amount of hours I have invested in creating it.  One of my dearest friends is from Brazil.  In Brazil they don't use the mounds of frosting that we do here in America. For her birthday cake I found a Brazilian Chocolate Cake recipe that accompanied a glaze instead of frosting. 
As anyone who has ever baked a cake from scratch knows, you must be precise in the measurements.  Failure can happen with the slighted diversion.  Fortunately I did it right the first time.  The cake took an hour to bake, the glaze took over an hour to cool and the hand made gum paste flowers, well let's just say it took a lot of time and patience  I'm stepping back, looking at this decadent chocolate cake thinking "what could I have done differently?  How could I have made the flowers mesh together better?  I should have made budding roses and daisies as well as the full blossom and  I want to learn to make baby's breath for a filler....but all in all not bad for a first try.

I guess the the proof of success of failure will be proven on the fork.  Just like people, the cake can look pretty from the outside, but what is inside is what really matters.  The Bible says we are the salt of the earth, but useless if we lose our flavor.  I feel these are questions we should all ask ourselves daily.  If someone took a look inside of me, does my heart match what is seen on the surface? Does my life have flavor or is it just covered up in pretty decorations?  We all have our days, but I truly hope I have more days where I am attractive on the inside and that shows on the outside.

Final cake Gum paste and fondant

Productive Busy

I am beginning to feel better again.  It happens to be the week of the month that every hormone in my body wants to go haywire.  I felt some stress, has been a busy day.  Just getting my stuff ready for cake class is a job in itself and I managed to clean, shower, get supper in the crock pot, feed Jesse, get him down for his nap and go for my eye exam.  I have had contacts for a week.  The fit seems fine but I had some difficulty with my site.  So we are going to try mono vision.  They seemed fine in the office until I had to take them out for my eye exam.  I'll put them in tomorrow after letting my eyes recover from dilation. Keeping my fingers crossed that they will right.
This is the last night of cake class. I am really happy I took them, but relieved it is over..  It has only been eight weeks, but all the preparations, getting the kids to Irene's house, 40 minute drive and expense...well let just leave it as I am relieved.  If I take anymore I will do it after the first of the year or even summer.

Three and a Half Men ( - one)

I am overwhelmed by the love I have for the men in my life.  I am thankful to have Wyatt and Jesse home with me and know if all things remain equal, Wyatt will be here at least four more years and Jesse well a really long time.  I am missing AJ terribly tonight.  I looked at some pictures of my grown son on Facebook and feel such pride and happiness for his life and future...but heart sick at the same time.  I am missing him terribly.
Doug,Wyatt, Jesse and me decorated Halloween cookies last night.  It was a fun family time for us. I have pictures on my facebook album Fabulous Fall.
I boxed up a dozen Halloween and a dozen Toll House as well as a couple of his favorite DVDs and a card to mail him for a special treat.  There is very little time that he is not on my mind.

Anxiety is raging through me today.  I feel unsteady and exhausted....I am trying to concentrate on what I know rather than what I feel.  I know I am loved and blessed  beyond measure...

Hard to believe we are winding down the last few months of October.  This fall is disappearing at a pace I have trouble believing.  My oldest boy is away at school.  Everyday it gets a little easier, feels a little more natural, but I still miss him. 

Round and Round

Once again I feel myself slipping away into an abyss of loneliness and depression.  I have to wonder if some of it has to do with the weather change.  It has gone to beautiful late summer to cold and rainy.  Just a taste of what these next few months will be like.  Snow is coming there is no denying that harsh truth.  Back to early morning snow removing and nights starting at 6 pm.
I have my kids.  Wyatt and Jesse.  They are a lot of company, but they don't fill this void I have in my heart. 
Another day of more to do than I have time to do it.  Another day of not measuring up.

Legend of Sleepy Hollow cake
sheron

New Website

Pipe Dreams cakes, desserts and More

Progression (revisited)

Graduated Basic Cake Decorating Classes and have Gum Paste & Fondant Classes under my belt. Here are my cakes from first to last.  I have to laugh at myself when I look back on my first cakes...

 

First decorated cake for church Baptism

 

Class cake from Basic Cake Decorating Class

 

Third cake. Thomas the Tank for my friend Pri's son Zion

 

Forth cake for my friend Irene's daughter Sarah

 

Fifth cake for my friend Keri's father

 

Cake number six. My class project cake

 

"Graduation Day" from Basic Cake Decorating Class

 

Cake 7 for my very close friend Paula

 

Eighth cake "Totally Spies! In Paris" birthday cake for my friend Heather's Daughter Hailey

 

Project from class one of Gum paste and Fondant

 

Just for fun I made a fondant daisy

 

Second Project from Gum Paste and Fondant class. Rose, carnation and lily

Just for fun- Sleepy Hollow cake

Wishing Well Cake for my friend Heather

 

Project cake from Gum paste and Fondant class

Pri's birthday cake. This one is a little different. Brazilian Chocolate cake with cherry and semisweet filling, semisweet glaze and gumpaste flowers

My son Wyatt's cup cakes for his costume party

Ghost cake for my parent in law -design found on MyCakeClass blog