I wish I could say that I faced these last breathless two years with grace. A change came over me about the time Jesse was born. Living in Central NY is not easy anyway, but for a southern girl who craves the sun, well at times it is unbearable. I suffered postpartum depression with Jesse. Being over forty and having him in the dead of winter didn't help. I found myself out of control again and after seeking medical advise to rule out anything organic I am now being treated for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have to come to terms that unless God changes me, I will be on some form of antidepressant the rest of my life. I can function now, my guys can leave the house without a constant feeling of dread that I will never see them again.
As I look back I can see a few constants in my life. My husband, Doug, is such a special person. He has loved me through everything. I have close friends that have not left my side and I know is always in prayer for me. My siblings support me...I know they always will.
So with this past behind me what shall I do? I guess begin living again.
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