Survival

I'd say I have more than an average life.  Nice home, supportive husband, beautiful children, enough food, water and other necessities.  I remind myself of this to keep moving.  I'm having another day of extreme anxiety.  I am struggling to hang on to my personal beliefs in a mediocre relationship with God ( of course, the problem lies within me, not Him). Trying to keep my sanity while my three year old challenges everything I say and it seems there is nothing I can do right no matter how hard I try to accommodate him.  Wyatt is sick, he has been since Sunday.  I fear it is bronchitis. I forgot yet another orthodontist appointment even though I checked the calender and made not Wyatt had an appointment.  I am constantly overwhelmed with the lack of AJ's tuition.  As it sets now he can go back this semester...but I have no idea what will happen after that.  Through my eyes it looks impossible.  He seems to believe that this is where God wants him and it will somehow work out.  Faith...where is mine?
I have thrown myself into homemaking.  Working round the clock to bless my family...Trying to make Doug's time at home pleasant...somehow I think I am losing myself along the way. Friends are scarce...Either working or busing themselves with summer activities...I'm much to old to feel this insecure..