Overwhelmed....

Some pain no one sees....

I was at my wits end with my boys.  I have tried everything...including begging, threatening and offering rewards, yet getting them to help around the house was futile. It had gotten to the point that I was picking up after them...at 20 and 14 there is absolutely ridiculous on their part as well as mine.  I cannot be a doormat if I don't lay down. After another frustrated and hurt weekend I decided it was time for a change.  I have to stop worrying about making them unhappy and enforce some boundaries.  I understand that AJ's job is very physically demanding, so I will try keep what I ask from him to a minimum. I had another talk with them and even though, at this point I have to stay on top of them, they have been picking up behind themselves. Tonight they helped me make supper and Wyatt willingly offered to help clean up after we ate.  Encouragement and guidance, I know it is something that I have to continue.  If I quit they will quit.  But it was nice today to feel like a mother instead of a servant.

Out of frustration I wrote this on Facebook Saturday night:
Welcome to the Sher-a-don Inn...I hope your stay here is pleasant. There is free shuttle service and as well as vehicles available to borrow...My occupants receive free room and board, hot meals, maid service all performed by yours truly, the co owner, operator, cook, maid, zoo and grounds keeper. 
 I think I should check in, I could use a rest....oh but if I did who would do all the work???

Second post I wrote Sunday night after anxiety medicine kicked in and I took a long nap.  Funny how much better things look after a nap...and modern pharmaceuticals

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” ~Reba McEntire
Time for me to take this advise...although a wishbone won't help much...been trying that far too long...but I can grow a backbone and close down the Sher-a-don Inn even if it makes me less than popular and insist on help...and use the funny bone when things gets too overwhelming like yesterday and today...
Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Is everything perfect? Well no, but at least I no longer wish to run away from home... it is weird how different things look when I am seeing them through a sound mind....Do I truly desire to leave? Probably not, I can't be away from my kids a day without missing them....and what would I run to? A nowhere job and an empty apartment? Sometimes freedom looks great, but one must remember that everything comes with a cost...