Changes

I get to Rome this morning to pick up Wyatt and AJ from camp.  To find AJ with a chrome dome.  Wyatt lost his glasses in the lake....and seems to be getting ill.

I feel myself slipping away from the Lord.  I feel anxious and frustrated.  I know a big part of it is I have let myself get too busy.  Jesse has stopped taking naps and that has been quite the transition for me more than him.  Ten years of collecting junk has caught up with me. I have cleaned clutter for 3 days. If it didn't have a place I found one. If I didn't need it, it was thrown away (or given away).  There is still so much to be done. But in my business I have stopped seeking time with the Lord.  That is going to have to be remedied.  I have over come far too much to slip back into sadness, loneliness and seclusion.  I noticed that when I am busy Jesse gets left behind too. I realized that yes, I have a lot of responsibilities, but I also have a son that loves me and wants to be with me.  So I have concluded that I need to include him in my work when possible and set a timer.  Work for a half hour and take a break and be a mommy.  I feel I can do the same with the Lord.   I know from experience that just 5 minutes increments through out the day makes a huge difference in my relationship with Him.  A few minutes of prayer and singing, reading and meditating on a scripture has the power to make a huge difference and I can pray (and play) while I work.
I don't want to leave God again.  I need him and I love him.  I am gathering as I write that I have to make changes in my life. I am willing to do whatever is needed to have a relationship with my God and to be a good wife and mother....I am feeling God urging me to just take action.  Everything worth while takes effort and I cannot think of anything more valuable than a personal relationship with my Savior and caring for my family.  Thank you Father for never letting go of me.