Going Out with My Boots On

When I die I want it to be living!

It has been no secret that over the past breathless years I have suffered from depression and fatigue.  I know that the majority of it was physical.  I have been through a lot in the almost 12 years since leaving Georgia for New York.  The move in itself was a major change for not only me but for my boys as well.  It took a couple years to get over the culture shock and settle into our new life.  Wyatt was only 2 and he cried everyday to go to "Mommy's house".  He wanted to go home.  We moved from Georgetown to Morrisville the following year.  My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer October 2001.  My boys and I spent three months living with my sister supporting and caring for Mother.  She lost the battle on February 19, 2002.  In 2006 I had my own cancer diagnosis.  Had a lumpectomy which I call a partial mastectomy and centennial node dissection  in June 2006....my first and so far only surgery.  Followed by Chemotherapy in NY and internal radiation in Philadelphia....After a time of recovery I found myself unexpectedly pregnant in the spring  and had my 3rd son on New Years Eve 2008.  I was in love the moment I saw him, but was floored with yet another major life change...Postpartum depression and with the major hormone changes we added Premenstrual Disphoric Disorder to my laundry list of problems. Last fall my eldest left for Bible College.  A few months ago I lost a four year friendship with Keri...a person I trusted with my life and shared everything with...I know it doesn't sound like much spread over 12 years, but you have to consider  these are just highlights...there were plenty of other mini dramas in between.
God is good and life moves on...I am now a 46 year old mother of a twenty, fourteen and three year old, a wife of 27 years, a cancer survivor and a magnificent housewife.  There is nothing I cannot accomplish if I put my mind to it.  I cook, clean, shop, care for kids and pets, homeschool Jesse, do the yard work and landscaping and still manage to take care of myself.

I have discovered that I am tired surviving life...I want to live it. And live it to the fullest potential.  I am past self pity and self destruction. I love more, worship harder, work longer and take time enjoy  the scenery. 

This is my summer project.  Armed with a bow saw and long handled pruners I am going into hand to hand combat with the over and undergrowth on south side of our property

I cleared that dead mound of tree and vine yesterday...Broke it down into burnable pieces

Still a lot to do although I have worked and cleared so much this week

Making headway

I am going to make a burning spot on the North side of our property so I can dispose of larger pieces of wood and other debris that I am working so hard on removing.