Winter's End

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
― C.S. Lewis

I am very open when it comes to my life and struggles.  In my willingness to share, I have found many women who has either gone through a portion of my experience or they are going through a time very similar. Like me,  they find comfort in knowing that depression, anxiety and the God forsaken hormones are pretty common among women in or near perimenopause and the younger ones suffering from postpartum depression.  Here in the Northern states PPD seems to be common among the women giving birth in the winter months.  The cold, darkness and being, for the most part housebound adds stress and loneliness.  At a time in our lives that should be blessed and cherished, struggling with depression adds guilt into the ratio.
For me, unfortunately, I can relate to both.  I didn't have symptoms of PPD with my older children, but with Jesse it was overwhelming.  And lucky me, I had a baby as I entered perimenopause years..
I thought I had gone mad.  I was out of control of my emotions, joy was nonexistent and I was only in survival mode. Constantly trying to figure out what was wrong with me and searching for anything to relieve the pain I was in even if it was for only a little while.Unlike physical pain it can be hard to assess and help given.  Like physical pain, after a given amount of time someone will go to extremes to get relief.  I believe the hardest part is that no one can really understand unless they walk through it themselves. The point of this post is that there is always hope. Be patient, take care of yourself, seek medical help and/ or counseling.  Even if your faith feels nonexistent, don't give up...God has not given up on you. If you have someone in your life with any form of depression, be supportive.  They are not trying to be selfish or a pain in your ass.  Even if it seems that way, remember they are trying to gain control on a slippery slope.  

After a three year winter, it feels like spring has finally arrived. My days feel brighter, warmer and new signs of life are budding.  I am extremely grateful for my God for keeping his promises even when I didn't and for a support system that did their best to love me unconditionally.  I have not arrived, but I am on the way.