Wasted

I don't know why forgetting who I am is so easy.  I think in the last few days I have recounted every sin and mistake I have made since my first breath. Forgetting that they have been forgiven and forgotten by God.  I have wasted  more long weeks of my precious life flogging myself for failure, mistakes and bad judgement.  Of course it only brought pain, depression and separation from God. Finally I break through came and  my mind and spirit are once again at peace.  I totally get why they Bible instructs us not to worry (Luke 12:22-26 and Philippians 4:6-7).  My constant worry did nothing to fix any of the problems, it only caused more.  It made me doubt God, deepened my anxiety, allowed illness to linger, took days of joyful living away from me and robbed my children of the fun and affectionate mother they normally have in their lives. The only thing I know to do is to strive to stay in the presence of God where the truth is. In his presence I can stay alert and head off the enemy's attempt distract and accuse. I know I must be pretty weak minded to fall into the same trap repeatedly. For now I must stay close to the side of my PaPa and allow him to apply healing balm on me and take time to heal and strengthen in him