We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Starting Wednesday with Wyatt home from school. Later that afternoon Doug brought AJ and his friend Chris home from Elim. Thanksgiving day held a perfect turkey and more trimmings than I can name. Doug's parents, brother and niece were here and brought their specialty dishes.
We shared more than food. There was a wonderful family fellowship and Chris fit right in with our crazy family. I had my son with me until Sunday night. Doug drove him, Chris and Emily back to Elim. I am my happiest when my family is together. Our home is homier with AJ home. Even though it feels part of me is missing, I am as happy for our son as I am proud. I wouldn't change this experience even if I could.
Monday morning came around and Wyatt is back at school and Jesse and I are hanging out together. We made paper snow flakes and got into a fight over me not wanting him to use scissors (we don't have any safety scissors).
As I gave thanks to God this weekend for my family, I had to ask why he didn't grant me a daughter? Most of the time I don't think about it, bit in my heart I want a girl. As much as I love my sons and wouldn't change having a single one, a part of me feels empty. I didn't get an answer...but I was filled with utter joy when I looked at my beautiful 35 month old son sleeping in bed next to me. He is my gift. He will be with me long after Wyatt leaves for college. By the time Jesse is ready to leave my nest, hopefully I will have grandchildren to enjoy. No matter how I feel about my blessings, I know God is good and he gave me the children I was suppose to have. I am choosing to stop longing for what I don't have and enjoy the wonders I do have....I am a very fortunate person and I have a very blessed life.
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