I may be a bit under the weather but that has not slowed us down...Did the drive and then built snow men and made many trips up the hill to let Jesse sled...Awesome time with my little man!

Happy Birthday!

To My Big Brother!

Celebrating 54 years!

Sometimes...........

Self Loathing is Addictive....Knock it Off!

Not sure what to write about today.  I suppose I will figure it out as I type. It has been a wonderful week.  Spent Tuesday with my parent in laws, Wednesday with Pri, Thursday home with no where to go.  Not only did I hear from my son, but we have been communicating often these last several days. He is sharing with me and even bouncing me some of his ideas.  He received his care package today.  I sent him a gift card my friend treated me to for my birthday, his new glasses, a replacement phone that was Wyatt's before his upgrade (AJ dropped his and broke it), movies for him and Chris that didn't make it in time for Christmas and snacks including homemade Toll House cookie bars.
Church service was beautiful and Pastor John's message meaty. Sunday evening I had the house to myself.  I spent two hours of it in my bedroom with the stereo blaring my favorite songs from Kid Rock to Toby Keith and everything in between.  I watched 3 episodes of Son's of Anarchy before I was invaded by Wyatt and shortly after Doug and Jesse.  Slept soundly and woke to fresh snow and a stomach ache.  I slept the late morning away, but still don't feel right.  Irene was here Friday night and by Sunday she had was sick...I assume it is a little uncomfortable bug.  Hopefully it leaves me quickly.
I have finally found peace.  I look in the face of my beautiful little child and there is no longer any resistance to his charm.  I am able to truly enjoy him, spoil, cherish and adore him rather than merely surviving day to day.  I am happy and satisfied in my life.  It didn't come in a 12 step program, medication vial or counseling. It came with time. Although a couple of the fore mentioned items aided me, the healing came through my will to change. With surrender and being true to myself. With great pain and patience it came from letting go of selfish desires and grasping onto my family. It came through love of others and the forgiveness of Christ. I wish I could report everyday is divinity (who doesn't?), But gratefully I have found there is joy where there was sorrow, peace where there was great turmoil, giving of myself where there was only selfishness and love where there was resistance....As I continue my life I know that  I am still a work in progress, but I can finally see that I am worth the fight.  That they are worth the fight.

My Cream Puffs Were Crazy Delicious!

Yummies

Herb Popover

Wednesday I made Popovers for the very first time.  I had my first one a few years back when I had lunch with Irene at the Seven Stone Step pub.  They taste and feel like they would be hard to make.  But in reality it would be hard pressed to be any easier.  I mixed them up and baked them in a muffin tin...I know I squealed like a 13 year old girl when I opened the door and they were popped and perfect. For supper that night we filled them with ham salad and served them with soup.
Tonight is movie night so I thought I would bake some more of these delicate treasures and fill them with vanilla pudding and a drizzle of chocolate.  Sounds delicious...home made cream puffs.

Three layers of homemade lemon cake, filled with rich lemon curd and covered in fresh meringue browned to perfection

Yesterday I tried a new cake recipe.  My friend Kara wanted a Lemon Meringue cake for her husbands birthday.  Believe it or not I have never made Meringue...yes, another delighted squeal when I opened my mixer and saw a batch of perfectly whipped meringue. Everything about the cake worked nearly perfectly.  I had a crumble problem with one of the layers.

Photo courtesy of Kara Nutt


My next project will be Meringue cookies!

The Richest Woman In Morrisville

It has been a lovely day.  Of course Wyatt was the first to wish me a happy birthday.  Then I spent the morning at story hour with my three year old and then we went to Pri and Zion's for lunch.  Since we are both watching our calories and choosing healthier life styles, she made me vegetable soup and a no bake chocolate pumpkin pie.  I stuffed mini bell peppers with a ham salad made with lean ham with light sour cream for the binder. She spoiled me with a necklace and earring set her mother made and Endless Love lotion from Victoria Secrets.  She is such a blessing in my life....

My husband was awake when I returned home and we spent a few minutes together before he went upstairs to go back to sleep.  He gave me a sweet and funny card and Sons of Anarchy season 2 on DVD....he is taking it back in the morning and getting me season 3.  I love my bad biker boys and already have season one and 2.  He tried and him thinking of me was more important than any gift. A bit later my friend Mart came by. She doesn't realize it is my birthday and I didn't tell her...I just wanted to enjoy her company  I made her lunch and we caught up on our lives.
I was truly overwhelmed by the birthday wishes and beautiful comments from friends and family.  Although I have not heard from one person I want to the most, I understand that college keeps him busy and it is okay that I slipped his mind. I know how much my son loves me and I am blessed by him.
It has been a blissful day....

Roll On

Me one year older

I swear that time's a trick it disappears in oh so quick, Man I was just sixteen and now I'm starin' at forty-six. But I'm still havin' a good time

Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
Roll on Roller coaster
Roll on tonight
Roll on tonight

And I know it's hard to see with the sun in your eyes
But one day you're gonna say I saw the light

And now headin' for the hill
And I just cannot wait until
My children grow up to have children of their own
And I'll be telling them about
The times I turned the party out
And how I stood against an army all alone
Drinkin' wine and stayin' high
And realized it couldn't last
And how God Turned my life around
And went down another path
And the signs we must observe
When life's changes do occur
But most of all I'll tell them
Just how proud I am of them
And always have a good time
It's all love and good times
Let's all have a good time Yeah

~Kid Rock (almost)

Today I turn 46.  It is hard to explain how I feel.  I ticked over the top...there is no denying I am really in my forties.  These days I ponder on some of the things my mom used to tell me about how she felt and just how fast it does go by.  

I don't mind birthdays...not even the years they represent.  I figure they are going to come and go whether I like it or not...Might as well enjoy it and be thankful for another day with the people I love.  I am grateful that everyday I grow stronger physically and mentally...that I am here to pursue the Lord even though I sometimes fall short.