Monday, October 28, 2013

Hmmmm

I want to Thrive Not Just Survive....



Several or more months ago I heard this song and I could relate to the lyrics in a way that was almost scary...I mean who wants something this dark to be their theme song? It was not until this past Sunday that I understood why.  It had to do with the church I was attending and have been a member for almost a decade.  I want to make it understood that the church is not flawed.  It is a good church full of good people.  For whatever reason it was my time to move on and I dug in and refused.  The main reason was I didn't want to uproot or leave my older sons.  I wanted to wait until they reached an age that if they wanted to stay with or without me they could.  Plus the fact I had made this church my home and loved the members and deep down wanted to stay, that was another factor. Whatever the reason, whether it is noble or personal, when God is ready to move you the best thing to do is move.  I over stayed my welcome and grew some hard feelings and hurts along the way.... A few months ago I finally made the move away from there...it was heart wrenching and at times still is difficult, but for now I am planted where I believe God wants me to have my next chapter....I am leaving it up to him how long I stay...whether it is months or years....I'll just have to wait and see....I have thrived since taking the difficult move and I am grateful to my God for his faithfulness....

Thrive
Switchfoot

Been fighting things that I can't see in 

Like voices coming from the inside of me and 
Like doing things I find hard to believe in 
Am I myself or am I dreaming? 



I've been awake for an hour or so 
Checking for a pulse but I just don't know 
Am I a man when I feel like a ghost? 
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes 



No I'm not alright 
I know that I'm not right 
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive 
A warm body don't mean I'm alive 
No I'm not alright 
I know that I'm not right 
Feels like I travel but I never arrive 
I want to thrive not just survive 



I come alive when I hear you singing 
But lately I haven't been hearing a thing and 
I get the feeling that I'm in between 
A machine and a man who only looks like me 



I try and hide it and not let it show 
But deep down inside me I just don't know 
Am I a man when I feel like a hoax? 
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes 



No I'm not alright 
I know that I'm not right 
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive 
A warm body don't mean I'm alive 
No I'm not alright 
I know that I'm not right 
Feels like I travel but I never arrive 
I want to thrive not just survive 



I'm always close but I'm never enough 
I'm always in line but I'm never in love 
I get so down but I won't give up 
I get slowed down but I won't give up 



Been fighting things that I can't see in 
Like voices coming from the inside of me and 
Like doing things I find hard to believe in 
Am I myself or am I dreaming? 



No I'm not alright 
I know that I'm not right 
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive 
A warm body don't mean I'm alive 
No I'm not alright 
I know that I'm not right 
Feel like I travel but I never arrive 
I want to thrive not just survive 


I want to thrive not just survive

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