I started the day with my wonderful three year old. He loves to lay in bed with me and chat in the mornings. Things in my life must change. I have decided to run my life instead of allowing it to run me. For the last two weeks I have been using a chore list I found on a Christan Woman's blog, it has truly helped take the pressure off my schedule and I get more done. The house is cleaner and when I don't spend too much time on the computer, I spend more time with Jesse. I started working out today. Fifty minutes with weights and 30 minutes on the elliptical. I don't know if it will take this time, but for today, I really want to get healthy and slimmer. Doug needs my help too. I need to cook lighter and learn to fry less and reduce salt. He has high blood pressure and I have high cholesterol. Today is grocery list and menu day, so I will also research healthier recipes. Hopefully as I gain control of my natural life, I will begin to work on the Spiritual too. I have felt separated from God for a very long time. To the point I am struggling to believe at all. I read in a devotional yesterday that most things we don't work for we don't appreciate. I felt I should apply that to my relationship with God. No one can "give" it to me and these people I admire have put time and effort in to know Him and to have a personal relationship. My flesh gets in the way too often. My feelings get hurt or I get offended or I just choose sin over right because I need to feel good right now. Instant gratification has served me well in the past, but it is not enough anymore. I want something real, something worth fighting for. Just like my housework, these things I want to change won't happen on their own. It is going to take daily effort on my part to see these changes through. I have to be patient with myself on those days I don't perform the way I feel I should.
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