Ghosts

Overcoming past hurts is a work in progress.  Finally 5 steps forward and one back rather than the normal two and one.  I have worked hard on myself and have depended on God like never before to put things behind me and push forward.  Wanting to be a great wife, loving mother and faithful friend.  Recently I have had my doubts towards my faith, but enough belief in the unseen to never abandon what my heart knows to be truth.
People and things from the recent past has been invading my dreams.  As I am trying to find balance in this whirl wind of emotions I find myself wondering why?  Why now? What is the hold? What am I doing wrong to cause this conflict in my mind, spirit and emotions?  How do I refocus and regain lost ground?
I'm going to try and not ponder on it too much.  I know enough to know that the mind can be tricky and if not guarded can become a playground for the enemy to attack and harm.  I feel lost and conflicted today.  Hanging on to what I know is the truth and fighting like crazy to not buy into the emotional side of my thoughts and feelings.  As I type the thought comes to mind.  I must be of value, why else would this attempt to distract me from the truth and destroy my from within be so high on the agenda of the enemy? I do know I am of value to my Father, my family and others who love me.  I know it is all worth the fight.  In the end victory in Christ is the only thing if true value.  I know what I need to do and I have to find a way to do it. To pick myself up and continue in the fight.