Preach it Marilyn....

What Does Not Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

….I guess that rides along side with what hurt we survive makes us a better person???

I don't know who came up with this stuff, but we all have been through things…just another cliche to get through life…

I have been through many hardships at a young age. I was not only abandoned by my dad but also my step father.   I was not even 27 when my formally estranged father died suddenly of congestive heart failure at the age of 56….just as we were getting to know each other again.  I was 33 when my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer…she surveyed four months before she left the world…I was not brave enough to stay till the end.  Although I had made plans to journey back the 1000 miles between CNY and West Georgia, I went home for a funeral instead.  That is something I have to deal with almost daily. I was 34 and my beloved mother was only 62….Fortunately the death of our mother brought me and my siblings even closer.

The move to NY in 2000 was devastating to me and my young sons but God sent me an angel by the name of Paula Welsh that made the transition easier… I thought I was gaining a family in my in laws but instead I found even more loneliness….leaving me to search for love and acceptance through friends…trying to and failing at being grafted into "family" left me angry and envious….

I laid in bed this morning realizing how I must forgive the recent as well as the past transgressions in my life…one by one I got the faces into focus and through prayer I forgave each person and each incident….I think the latest punch in the stomach was the hardest to forgive, but I was successful and I have found it is not the hurt or the loss that in fact makes one stronger, it is the forgiveness we can give through the love of Christ.  Through him I can forgive and heal….including the things I have done to hurt myself…through him I can over come and become a healthier person, though him I can ask forgiveness for myself as well as the grace to forgive others….I'm not an angel….although I try to avoid it I know I have hurt others and I hope and pray I can also be forgiven for my transgressions.  We can go through heartache, pain and loss, but it has been my discovery it is not the situation, but the reaction that makes or brakes us...

Over my 13 years here I have gained a handful of close friends, lost a my relationship with Keri (although I believe it was Jesse she really loved and not necessarily me)…been hurt countless times by people who were suppose to care for me….I lost to death my two good friends…The Brawners….first Brother Jesse and a few years later Willie Jewel. Losing Willie was especially hard, she was like the church mom/grandmother. She was a gentle God fearing woman who found joy in instructing the younger generation…..she kept me covered in prayer even through my transition to New York until her death about 5 years ago….I am blessed with a few forever friends that live in Georgia.  My Pastor's wife Carla Patrick, my friends Ann Arnold and Marie Brock as well as my friend and little "brother" in Pennsylvania, Brian Smetana they will forever hold a place in my heart although absent from each other's day to day lives. My brother, Bill is to be married in October adding another sister in my life… 

I have also battled and won breast cancer, which opened a new chapter in my life adding a midlife child to our family, Jesse. He brings a special something that was missing although I wonder if he has ADD... I seen AJ grow into manhood....watched Wyatt as he became a wonderful teenager. And I am still married to the love love of my life…27 years and counting…living with him since he was 21 and we just celebrated his 50th birthday.  My Life…The Good, The Bad and The Ugly….I am grateful for everyday I have spent here on planet earth...

What a Difference

Four Years Makes....


When Jesse was about 6 months old we took the boys to Old Forge NY for a family get away...we returned this past July and had a wonderful time...a break our family needed...

Summer 2009

Summer 2013

As anyone can see my boys have grown up beautifully...Doug is virtually the same.....

Here is MY Dilemma

Picture from Cami Shaper Official Site

As the other post states I ordered the Product Cami Shaper....They came yesterday....so I must have been wrong in accusing CS of lying about the shipment.  I do have a bad taste in my mouth toward the company and how Customer service is ran.   My choices are....Take leap, try the product and if I hate them return them. If I don't like them absorb the shipping charges to return or exchange for another size. Or waver on the safe side refuse shipment (take them unopened to the post office) and have my credit card help me with the charges.  I have read numerous bad reviews sprinkled with a few rave reviews...
I am not expecting a miracle...my concerns are not that I won't look 2 sizes smaller...I really don't expect that...what I'm afraid of is the cami will ride up or there will not be enough support (I wear a D Cup).

Decisions decisions....

As Seen On TV....

Cami Shaper....

This is not normally my type of post...The site I placed my review on has me as awaiting Moderation...so hoping by writing and advertising through Facebook and google my story and research may get out there and help anyone else who is concerned with this company....

My story…please bear with me….Cami Shaper

I saw the TV commercial and thought they looked pretty cool and only being moderately over weight, a few flaws from having children and aging I thought the concept might work well for me. I go online and start the order process but hesitated. I decided to look up review for the product and found a very favorable review...Cami Shaper Review- Don’t buy before reading http://camishaperreviews.org.
This review that swayed my purchase. I chose the original colors and was offered a second set at 25% off when I declined I was offered 50% a second set and chose to accept. I think I gave my credit card information before I was bombarded with offers to buy more product…that was not a problem for me…After placing the order I get a message saying to confirm my order and receive a 50.00 Walmart card to call (800) 835-1082….that threw up a red flag. I didn’t have time to call yesterday so I did so today and surprise surprise it was only to sell a service for 1.99 (Sorry I cannot remember what the service was for). I declined and I was told he couldn’t find my order that I need to call Cami Shaper with questions. I proceeded to argue with him and the response was their data base is down is why he can’t find my number. I call the customer service and the customer service agent G60 really had no answers to why they made it appear I was getting a gift card but it turns out I get it with strings attached…and she said I needed to call the number above back about the problem.After finding many bad reviews at http://www.asseenontvonsale.com/clothing/cami-shaper/  I’m freaking out and call Cami Shaper customer service back and tell them I want to cancel my order and I was told by customer service agent G92 that it already shipped and it cannot be canceled…bear in mind I placed the order yesterday…I ask to speak to a supervisor and after being on hold for about 10 min I left a callback number. I was surprised to receive a call back by agent G08…which again I was told I could’t cancel. But informed that I should try the product if I don't like it I will only have to pay return shipping. I asked for a physical address to the company (so I would have a way to report to BBB) and she said there was only a PO BOX…after speaking to 3 agents it is the customer service is obviously outsourced so maybe she didn’t have the address.
It is very hard to find any information on the company but after a bit of investigation I found on THEIR website that the company is Tristar Products…doing a websearch for Tristar I find out this information:

Corporate Office
492 U.S. 46, Fairfield, NJ 07004
1-973-575-5400
1-973-575-6708 (FAX)
infotp@tristarproductsinc.com

Administrative Office
2620 Westview Drive, Wyomissing, PA 19610
It says:

Customer Service
For all product inquiries, please contact
Customer Service Manager at:
1-973-575-5400 x 112
But when called I am asked to hang up and call 973-287-5100 which is the number I received the call back form Cami Shaper Supervisor…after that I did use the extension number and leave a message…I have yet to hear back
Anyone who has had bad dealings with them I feel it would be a good idea to over whelm the company with calls to the 

Customer Service Manager at:
1-973-575-5400 x 112
or
write Tri Star Products 492 U.S. 46, Fairfield, NJ 07004

There are steps to take…one contact your credit card company or bank and ask for assistance in getting your money refunded…It may take paperwork but it is worth the time…Watch your account and as soon as you see you are billed contact your finical company.
If like me you, have reason to believe you not want to do business with this company do not accept shipment or return it to your local USPS..they will sent it back at no charge if the package has not been opened.

PLEASE TAKE THE TIME AND REPORT TO BBB!!!!!
Here is the Better Business Bureau Review for Tristar Productshttp://www.bbb.org/new-jersey/Business-Reviews/commercial-products-wholesale-and-distributor/tristar-products-in-fairfield-nj-29001832#reasonratingTristar had a D rating on a scale from A+ to F.

Aging...When Did That Happen?

I'm not doing it gracefully. I'm struggling.  For some reason my age is depressing me. I don't know why…I guess because I realize that the best years of my life are over and now I am heading for the last chapter…which holds little excitement…I see myself change, I feel myself slowing down...It just kinda slipped up on me...all of a sudden I am 47.  On a slippery slope to 50.  I need to re learn how to enjoy life...I need something to look forward to. 

At least I have my mate who wants to grow old with me...a home to run, a small child to raise a nearly grown son who still needs me and an adult child who, at times, still enjoys my company.  Growing old is inevitable, the only way to stop it is to die and I have to say I am even less ready for that than I am old age.

I'm just feeling lonely today....I have been sick with a rather nasty cold the last couple of days.  Today is the first day I have been awake and functional.  Poor Jesse was cared for, but just necessities.  He sat on the couch with me while I slept and when a Netflix show ended he would wake me to start a new one.
Today I feel uncertain about our future.  Jesse starts Pre K in the Fall but it is only half days and not enough time to find work....I have heard of part time but I cannot think of anywhere that would hire me for 2.5 hours a week day.  I like being the stay at home mom...and eventually just a housewife...but at the same time I would like to bring an income into the house just to help make it stretch to the next week.  It has to be hard to work as many hours as Doug does and have nothing to show for it. He was really down when he went to bed today...