I Could Use

A penpal....I wonder how one goes about finding such things...tried a search but takes me to places I probably shouldn't go...

I have friends, busy friends, family, part-time job and plenty of responsibilities yet I am lonely.... What to do?

Memorial Day

Letting Go My Worries

So I can enjoy my today...

We can only plan and hope for the best...who really knows what's coming next?

Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I have control issues.  Not sure if it is just how I am wired or how I was raised but I find myself in a world of chaos because I have so much trouble trusting that God has my life under control.  As I have posted before we are making plans to leave Central New York to live back in the Southern states.  At this point in time, our plans are for Northwest Alabama, within 2 hours of my siblings and (if there is an opening at Doug's current company in Gadsden less than an hour commute for him).  But, we could land anywhere really, Virginia, Tennessee maybe Georgia or a Carolina.  Or if our plans are not God's we will find a way to be satisfied here.

Our home in Central NY

My biggest concern, I feel, is the selling of our home.  It is a lovely place.  A large four bedroom Colonial with a full basement and two car garage siting on 7 acres of land. Just one mile from town and quiet! Who wouldn't want to live here? Some updates could be made, but again, if God is in it he will have a buyer standing by.

Meanwhile I am continuing with my plans to clear out the clutter and downsize the personal belongings.  I still plan to get a full-time job in the Fall and to pay off our debt and save as much as we can. If our plans fall through then at least we will be living better because we will be debt free. Maybe Doug can change jobs regardless where we live. I am ready to have a normal life, where he is by my side instead of only seeing each other a few hours a day.  I have spent the last 14 years in the roll of a married, single parent.

We are actually looking to downsize our home and land.  As the boys continue to grow up and Doug and I grow old, we need less house and land to worry about keeping up.  We don't expect AJ to live with us long after the move and Wyatt may be starting college...Jesse will only be seven...we still have a long time with him.

I love this little house in Anniston lot is a little less than a half acre. 3 bedroom  and 2 baths.

That is my declaration. For today I am choosing to do what I feel needs to be to make our dream become a reality in a trusting fashion, remembering God loves me and my family and will do what is best for us even if it doesn't fulfill our desires.

Black Roses

I can see your eyes,
staring into mine,
but it's a battlefield and I'm on the other side.
You can throw your words,
sharper than a knife,
and leave me cold, in another house on fire.

I, lay low, lay low and watch the bridges burn
I, lay low, lay low, what more could I have done?


Now you only bring me black roses,
and they crumble into dust when they're held
Now you only bring me black roses,
under your spell

She told me twice,
all her good advice,
but i couldn't see, I was clouded by your lies.
Up in smoke,
a vision she foretold,
She said stay away 'cause that boy's a warning sign

I, lay low, lay low and watch the bridges burn



Now you only bring me black roses,
and they crumble into dust when they're held
Now you only bring me black roses,
under your spell

And I'm done trying to be the one picking up the broken pieces
And I'm done trying to be the one who says I love you dear but I'm leaving

Now you only bring me black roses and they crumble into dust when they're held

Now you only bring me black roses but I'm not under your spell
I'm not under your spell 

Hear Black Roses Here

Performed by Clare Bowen

Writer Unknown

Lap Dog?

Buddy is going on 9 months old. I don't think he realizes just how big he is or maybe he doesn't care. Snuggle on the couch with m grand pup.

If I Didn't Know Better

                                              

    

                                                                       Clare Bowen with Sam Palladio

If I didn’t know better, I’d hang my hat right there

If I didn’t know better, I’d follow you up the stairs

Stop saying those sweet things

You know I’d like to hear

The horns are blowing louder

And they’re destroying me

Why do I keep drinking

Wasting my time on you

If I didn’t know better

Well, dammit, I do

There’s a hole in what you’re saying

I can plainly see

You have a lover that’s waiting, but baby

You’re right here with me

Ooh

You might as well be the devil

Oh keeping me out past three

Oh you’re the one with that apple

So baby, you can’t blame me

Why don’t you keep drinking

Get me one night with you

If I didn’t know better

Well dammit, I do

You know that I do

Oh baby you’re right here with me

Oh baby you know I do

VIDEO