Happy Birthday

My wonderful husband turns 48 today.  Happy Birthday Sweetheart. I love you more than you know.

Just Another woman In Love

Just Another  woman In Love
By Anne Murry

I'm strong, I'm sure, I'm in control, a lady with a plan
Believing that life is a neat little package I hold in my hand
I've got it together, they call me "the girl who knows just what to say and do"
Still I fumble and fall, run into the wall, 'cause when it comes to you, I'm

Just another woman in love, a kid out of school
A fire out of control, just another fool
You touch me and I'm weak, I'm a feather in the wind
And I can't wait to feel you touching me again
With you I'm just another woman, just another woman in love

So pardon me if I should stare and tremble like a child
That "wanting you" look all over your face is driving me wild
I'm just what you make me, can't wait 'till you take me and set all my feelin's free
I know that you can, so come be my man, tonight I wanna be

Just another woman in love, a kid out of school
A fire out of control, just another fool
You touch me and I'm weak, I'm a feather in the wind
And I can't wait to feel you touching me again
With you I'm just another woman, just another woman in love

I have gone from being alive to living.

Separation

My husband and eldest son left me early this morning. When I made my plans to stay in Georgia I was totally home sick and I do find being on Southern soil comforting and good for the soul. Being separated from my husband, however is much harder than I expected.  Since I have been delivered from various hurts, misunderstanding and sin, it has allowed God has heal me and put my feet back on solid ground.  I opened my heart to my spouse and allowed him to love me.  Since then my eyes are open to the quality person he is and watching him drive away from me well it was difficult to say the least. I am so grateful for this loving man in my life. He gave so much so we could be here.  The cost of the trip down, money to live on while we are here and plane tickets home.  There are things he wants and even needs, but he once again put us, his family before himself.

We had an amazing transformation on Father's Day.  Pastor Dan's message was a wake up call for us both on how we live our life, how far we have strayed from the mark in raising our middle son.  How we both want to be the responsible people God expects us to be.  I believe that Father's Day was a devine appointment for Doug and Myself. I am hoping this will prompt Doug to continue seeking a relationship with the Lord and possibly attend church. This move of God in our lives also made me desire to be the wife I am expected to be and truly be a blessing in the life of my spouse.  For the first time in I openly prayed for my husband before he he left. It also opened my heart even further to my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus. I desire to do what is right in my Father's eyes and put away a lot of worldly behavior and die more to myself. This Sunday attending  my home church, remembering how that is where I met my Lord, how in an instant he healed my broken spirit and gave me a new life. Being back in my home church was also a healing experience to say the least, in some ways it was overwhelming.  Pastor Carla is my spiritual mom.  I have so much love and respect for her. And Pastor Dan is an amazing preacher. I wish Carrollton, Georgia would discover the gift they have right in their back yard.
Here I sit in my niece's bed, my two year old beside me, spending the first of the 3 weeks at home but without my husband and grown son, I am grateful to be here, but feel torn into in may ways.  I am so happy to be here, thankful to my sister and brother in law for housing us and thankful to God for making it all happen.  Leaving will be hard, but what the three of us is gaining is worth it.  Our family whole and complete again.

Not A Lot to Say These Days

The Lord’s Grace to Paul
1 Timothy 1:12-17

I don't know why I just have not had a lot to share lately. I am doing very well.  Sitting in my sister's living room in Villa Rica Georgia, the first of four glorious weeks.  I have seen many changes in myself the last several weeks. I have found myself enjoying caring for my family and have found a deep love and respect for my spouse that is more powerful than I have ever experienced. He in return openly pours his affection onto me, I have never been happier.
God also has a new meaning in my life.  He has gotten a hold of me in a way that is almost alarming. My love and desire to know him seems to be unquenchable. I know it is his spirit in me urging me to seek him.  I do have some strongholds in my life that still need to be broken, but I have been delivered from so much, I know that in time God will continue his work to free me.
Doug actually went to church with me on Father's Day.  Pastor Dan's message was so powerful  that it moved us both in the area of raising our children.  We have gotten far off the mark with Wyatt.  Allowing him freedoms he is not ready for.  Doug and I will make the changes necessary to protect our sons from the wiles of the enemy.  I hope this means, also that he will join us in church, but I will not pressure him to do so.  After we were prayed for Doug was astonished at everything Pastor Carla prayed, he said it was like she was looking right into our life...It is so good to be home....

Revelation 21:4

In Loving Memory

One year since Dave stepped from this world into Eternity.  We weep here for our loss. I know you are celebrating our King and we will see you again when we graduate from this world.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Psalm 30:11, 12 NLT

First Anniversary

Special song for his sister Jessica's wedding

Today marks a year that David Camp had his fatal car accident.  Although we didn't lose him for some days later, this was a very hard day for so many who loves him.  I have never had a death effect me in the way his has.  He is not the first young person I have had to part with to soon. 

I guess a lot of it is because I met him when he was in high school, if I remember correctly it was his freshmen year.  Shortly after that I began going to his church where his parents Pastor.  Spending years there, seeing him grow into a man. Watching him grow spiritually. Seeing him with his first and only love, Courtney Earley.  Anticipation the spiritual words spoken over him, looking forward to seeing him marry and start his own family.  All of that was gone in a split second.  No one can really get their head not to mention our hearts around the loss.  I loved him.  I miss him.  Supporting the ones closest to him, helping my own son through his grief, that is my way of coping I suppose. 

Dave and AJ

Getting Excited!

The Waffle House: Some things have to experienced first hand.

And obviously feeling better :)
Just days a way for me to get a suntan and to find my Southern Drawl....hmmm I wonder just where I left it?

We refused our vaccinations this year because they combined the medicine with the H1-N1.  Doug and I don't trust this newer medication,  May have to rethink that decision next year.  

Looks like I have the flu.  I was hoping for anything but that. My body aches are severe and when I least expect it I catch a chill, bumps and all.  I'm just trying to survive until time to get Jesse to bed. It has been a long time since I felt this physically miserable.
I can't believe my kids.  Wyatt is sleeping on the couch and AJ, I believe is up in his room. Wyatt had this stuff last week and I babied him. He has to understand how bad I am feeling. Oh well he is just 13, I shouldn't take it personally. Praying Doug and AJ doesn't catch it.  Seven days till Georgia and feeling like this on the way down would suck.
** Since posting this yesterday I have reasons to believe it may be strep instead of Flu.  They have the same symptoms and Although the body pains have diminished, I woke this morning with a wicked sore throat.  I guess if things don't improve by Monday, I'll be going into see Dr Jeffers.

The Hangover

The last three or 4 days I have woken with the worst headache, feeling groggy and my joints are stiff.  I was beginning to think I was getting really sick, but after reading a few quick articles I believe it is do to dehydration.  I don't drink enough and practically live on coffee which is a diuretic.  I'm going to force myself to drink (h2o) and hopefully tomorrow morning will be a different story.
I must force myself off my backside and start some housework.  Jesse woke up wet at one thirty, I have to change the bedding before Doug goes to bed.  I have no real agenda today.  I may try and rest and start over tomorrow morning...I may get feeling better and do what needs to be done today.  Either way I am sure things will come together before we are suppose to leave on Friday.

English Ivy

The war to retake our property continues.  I have to say I am satisfied with the work I have gotten done. Tonight I took on the English Ivy that has been growing on our home for 10 years. It was an exhausting task and there is still a little left to be done, stuff  I couldn't reach without a ladder or leaning out a window. The exercise is good for me and the yard is shaping up nicely. One other benefit to all my efforts is I can eat anything I want and my weight doesn't change.  I am smaller but more muscular.

Days Away

Georgia is just a bit over a week away.  I am wondering how Jesse is going to do on the trip down.  It is a long drive.  I have made it in 18 hours only stopping for food, gas and restroom breaks.  We are taking on this journey with a two year old that hates the car and his car seat.  I'll take a survival pack, DVD player, books and crayons. Riding down in the Impala is going to be different, for sure, than my roomy van.
I am starting to get the jitters about not only all I need to do before the trip, but my husband and oldest son leaving me, Jesse and Wyatt behind. No doubt they'll make it back safe or that despite the troubles down home the three of us will enjoy ourselves, it is just being three weeks without my husband.  We have had longer separations. His move to NY before us and my mom's illness, but I don't look forward to not seeing his face everyday.  Life's a trade off. Leaving the South to be with my love, leaving my love to embrace my roots. Choosing to accept New York as my home and accepting separation from my men for three long weeks to enjoy the company of my siblings. I guess 49 weeks together will just have to do this year. I am counting the days to Georgia and then will be counting the days till my family unit is reunited in New York.

You'll never change your life until you change your choices. ~ Aaron Chavez

Chuck E Cheeses Coupons

I get these offers in my e-mail

Click to get coupons

We have so much fun at Chuck E Cheeses.  These coupon offers help to fit the outing to our budget.

Way too Much to Do

I'm working a a virtual diary of my yard improvements. I took on the biggest challenges these last 4 or five weeks. Harvesting dirt to fill my vegetable garden box, putting in weed barrier, plants, and mulch.  Cleaning around the fence to plant tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers was another back breaking venture.  I also tackled my flower bed.  A huge area almost as long as my house.  It has been weeded, mulched and a few new perennials added. 
.

Space next to the back door.

Last night I started looking around at what more needs to be done.  It is unbelievable to me the neglect of this property.  My plan was to hand pull, place weed barrier and mulch.  There are tons of Hyacinth bulbs that I plan to harvest and replant with my daffodils.

Looks so junky....I think this area is important for me to fix up

The plan here is the same as the above as well as adding fill dirt, replace the lattice and scrape and paint the porch.  I need to replace the stairs, but that us something beyond my skills.

The Hosta is very healthy

The Hosta needs to be thinned, weeded between and the fence line cleared....there are places like this in every nook in our yard.  I made the decision to lesson my stress to have a clean yard, that I would weed eat many of these areas to groom them up and I can do more detailed work at my own pace, remembering that anything not finished by the end of fall, I can continue next spring with much less to do. We are leaving for Georgia in 10 days and me and dmy little guys are staying for a month.  I think that adds to the stress of wanting to complete these projects.
One thing that I have noticed about my compulsive personality is when I get started on a project I do not want to stop. When I am not working I am thinking of what needs to be done next.  I noticed yesterday just how neglected Jesse was.  I put the tools away and played with my son.  We drew on the sidewalk and I stayed with him while he jumped on the trampoline.  I got the idea to draw on the trampoline.  Jesse loved that.

Mommy does love Jesse...so very much

I feel rather stressed because the things I do to be a good housewife, makes me a bad mother and when I neglect chores to spend time with the kids I feel like a bad housewife.  I do have to find balance.

Jesse

Cupcakes at Grammy's

I don't know which my son loves more.  His Grammy or her sweets! Doug has been taking him to see his parents on Sundays for several months now.  I am so glad he has such a bond with her.

Fun in the Sun

A couple of weeks ago I went to a MOPS luncheon with my new friend Kara.  One of the ladies that go to it announced she was moving to DC.  I got an email from her offering a child's playground.  I am really excited to get it for Jesse.  It is something we couldn't normally afford.  Doug is going by after work to get it.

Day Off or Off Day?

Sitting in my sun room gazing out the window I can admire my work.  From here I can see the vegetable garden and the new bird feeder in the back yard.  I put in another four hours last night. finishing the the flower bed, vegetable garden and hanging a bird feeder, planting a hummingbird trumpet and planting daffodil bulbs. I have about 50 of them I harvested on Saturday. We are running low on mulch again...I suppose I need to pln yet another trip to the dump.
Although there is still so much I want to accomplish, I plan to take  the day off from my yard.  My two younger sons have nasty colds and they are just miserable. The only problem with enjoying the out doors is my neglecting the inside of the house.  I am the only one who cleans so it is constant battle.  Doug has gone to do our grocery shopping. One chore I am grateful he took on. He is now home, groceries put away and I am thinking of taking my sick little love up for his nap.

The Story

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops

Swam all across the ocean blue

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules

But baby I broke them all for you

Because even when I was flat broke

You made me feel like a million bucks

You do I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what

I've been through like you do

And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

~Brandi Carlile

It's Five O'clock on a Saturday

I keep hearing that line of a song over in my head.  I have been awake since five am. I laid in bed for about twenty minutes, a little prayer time, reflecting on how blessed I am and admiring the beautiful two year old boy sleeping next to me.  I came downstairs and worked on the kitchen. It is looking much better and now I am sipping a cup of coffee and enjoying the splendor of quite time alone with my thoughts. It dawned on me, I am happy without any effort. That alone is a blessed gift from above.
I spent quite a bit of time in my large flower bed yesterday.  I like working outside. Especially during Jesse's nap time.  It gives me time  to ponder on things, pray and feel accomplished. When I take a pile of over grown rubbish and turn it into something beautiful I feel I have done something of worth my family and friends can enjoy.
As I was weeding I thought how that garden is like my life.  I was once content and my spiritual life pure. I am not sure what happened, but the beauty began to be choked out. It had become overgrown with weeds of worry, sin, oppression and depression. But, God is always faithful even though I am not always faithful to him. He is a gentleman, he will not force himself on me, but wait and love me through my pain and mistakes.
As I was pulling weeds I thought how like problems, sins and situations in our lives, are similar to the weeds I was ripping from the ground. Some weeds can be pulled and that is the end of it.  Others however come back and have to be dealt with again and some have to have the root totally dug out or you'll never be free of it. I have one problem in my life I cannot seem to dig the root out.  I have given it to the Lord and I do not feel I have taken it back, but there is a piece of it somewhere deep that I cannot seem to destroy.  I have also discovered that when gardening perennials, they don't stay where you put them and multiplies in a way that some of the plants have to be destroyed to make the garden beautiful.  That makes me think of the Lord's pruning.  Not sure if He is trying to "weed" anything from my life, or just reshaping me to look more like him (can you think of anything more beautiful?) and trimming for health and growth. I have learned that I cannot sit on my dairy air and become more of the woman I want to be.  It takes pruning, digging, pulling, planting and watering. Prayer, Bible, time alone with God, learning more and more about my savior, reaching out to others and reaching up to him is what I need to do.  Sounds complicated, but it is not. It is one breath and one step at a time.

Getting Stronger

I have been the most productive that I can remember being in a long time.  I always wanted to keep busy. Kids, housework and occasional part time job. Since summer has graced us I have been out in the sun daily.  Starting with harvesting soil from my woods to fill our garden box, preparing ground around the box, cutting grass, planting, two trips for mulch, one half load and yesterday a full load that I had to unload alone. Making a new flower bed.  Starting to retake the large flower garden.  Me and my wheel barrel have been working overtime.  Then there is Jesse, meals, house work and laundry.  There may be many adjectives that can describe me, but lazy is not one of them.  Jesse is right by my side, riding in the empty wheel barrel when I go to get more dirt or mulch and riding with me as I use the lawn tractor. Since I have stepped away from so much facebook I have discovered how wonderful time with my son is.  With all this work I have built an amazing amount of muscle.  If I would stop eating like a teenager I might would lose the fat.
Although I am majorly sleepy, today I plan to weed more of the flower garden. My cucumbers and tomato plants really don't look very good.  I planted them on the hottest day yet.  The cucumber burned and the tomatoes are sun bleached. I may go to Earley's Farm Supply today and see if I can buy some new ones. The temperature has dropped majorly.  It would be good to get them in the ground while it is overcast. Jesse loves going to Earleys, running around the nursery and seeing the baby ducks and chicks. Last time we were there we went into the Country Cupboard and bought Jes a doughnut too.
My newest venture is trying to start a women's fellowship.  I am gearing it to my community and wanting to reach the "burnt stones" that have been hurt or angry and left church and the unchurched Christians that have never been planted.  I am afraid of that because of my frailties I will not succeed. But if God is for it then who can stop it?
Yes indeed busy is good...making our house our home. Falling in love with Jesus has lifted me to a place where I can be in love with my husband and our life again. 

bird sanctuary in our front yard